No day but tomorrrow
by larsonwicked411
Summary: The gang goes to the night life cafe but tonight something was different. Tonight Maureen received some bad news. COMPLETE. Story better than summary!
1. Chapter 1

This is my fan fic. Maybe it's stupid- i don't know. Please review!

We all pushed the tables together as the waiter yelled at us. It's always so much fun pissing him off. Then we all pulled chairs around the tables. I don't know why we do that, we always end up standing on the table. But wherever we end up, the end of the night is the same- Maureen and Joanne have just forgiven each other about their most recent fight, Mimi and Rodger go home for some… fun, as do Collins and Angel. As for me, I go home alone. Well, me and Rachel- Maureen's and my 12 year old daughter. That's the way it has been and how we hoped it would always be. But tonight was different. We all sat in our chairs in silence.

Finally the silence was broken by of course- Maureen. "Oh, come on people. Say something! We need to talk about it… please." There was a long pause. Suddenly Maureen's voice got a little sterner. "Come on Pookie" she said to Joanne, "We're going home." Joanne didn't respond. "Pookie!"

"No." Joanne said. It was the first time she'd spoken all night. "We can't pretend it's not true. You have… no. No! Are you trying to kill me? I can't." Maureen began to cry. It was the first time I'd ever seen her cry before. Not even when she found out the news did she cry. Then Maureen made her first mistake. She turned her back. I rushed over to her. She pulled me outside.

"Shh, shh, it's okay. It's going to be okay." I whispered in her ear so softly I wasn't even sure she heard. "How is it going to be okay?" She yelled in my face. "What about Rachel?" She whispered. "What about Joanne? Marky, what about me? What's going to happen to me? Will I be alright?" A river began to flow from Maureen's eyes. She wrapped her arms around me and put her head on her shoulder. "I can't make any promises." I said. It seemed like we stayed there forever. Suddenly, Maureen's belt began to beep.

She looked up at me. "My first AZT."


	2. Chapter 2

I know that last chapter was extremely short, but it will get better

Please review

Maureen looked up at my. "I can't." she said. "I feel like by taking this, I am just admitting that I am weak." She began to cry harder. "Maureen, you have to take this. If you don't take this you will become weaker and weaker." I was trying to make her feel better. "Oh, Marky…" She never finished that sentence. She just kept sobbing. "If you won't do it for me…" It was going to kill me to finish this sentence, "Then do it for Joanne."

She took her head off my shoulder. The tears stopped. Her face died. She just stared at me blankly. _Oh, shit_ I thought. _What does my face look like right now? Shit! Stop smiling. Okay say something. Any words would be nice. Stop smiling. _"Honey, it's okay." She took her AZT and went inside leaving me alone in the cold. _Honey? That's what I called her? Damn it! And why wouldn't Joanne go with Maureen? I would kill to be in Joanne's shoes. I would take Maureen with or without the aids. No, stop! You're making it sound like she's on a menu. Wouldn't it be cool if she was? No! Stop thinking about her like that! You don't love her. Well, maybe… I need to think._ I went inside.

I walked in and was happy to find Joanne had left. But I guess she and Maureen went with her because she was gone too. Collin's called me over. He offered me a drink almost jokingly knowing that every other night before this one I had said 'no.' but tonight I did something I hadn't done since I got Maureen pregnant… I got drunk.

Straight lines got curvy. Straight boys looked gay. Everything was topsy- turvy. I ran to the bathroom to view my dinner in reverse. I came out of the bathroom, stumbled a little, and fell on my side. I don't remember anything after that. The next morning I woke up in my bed. Collin's was there. "You okay man?" He asked. "Yeah" I lied. I had a terrible headache and couldn't remember anything. "What happened last night?" I asked? "You were wasted. Fell smack on the floor. Angel and I brought you back here. "Where is she?" I asked. "Home. Which is where I'm about to be. But, you sure you're okay?" He was making sure. "Yeah" I said. _No._ But I let him go home to Angel. "Ok see you later." He closed the door.

I went over to Rachel's room. She wasn't there. I looked in the kitchen, living room, no Rachel. I called Maureen. Joanne picked up the phone. "Hello?" She said. "Hi. Is Maureen there?" I asked. "No, she and Rachel went out. Such a sweet girl. You raised her right." I was so happy to hear that she was with Maureen. "How's Maureen feeling?" I asked almost without thinking. "She's okay. She took her AZT. I think she's just adjusting to the fact she has aids. Oh, and Mark, Maureen wanted me to tell you she really wants you at tonight's show. It has no metaphors about cows or deserts. It's just the cold hard facts. It's about aids."


	3. Chapter 3

I know that each chapter has been short so far. This one is longer. I thought you would all think this was a stupid idea, but I hope I was wrong. Please review and tell me!

I hung up the phone. I didn't know what to say. I ran to the couch, laid down and began to cry. I couldn't help myself. After about ten minutes of crying, the door opened. I looked up. The picture was foggy but I could see it was Maureen.

"What's wrong?" I asked. _Stupid question. Of course she's not okay. She has aids and she's crying. _

"Joanne and I had a big fight. She wouldn't even sleep in the same room as me because I have Gd damn aids!" She fell into my arms. I held her tight. _I wish it could stay like this forever. No, no… you don't feel that way about her anymore. _But she pulled away. "And she said that if I still loved you so much then why was she with me." _I couldn't believe it. Maureen loved me. _"And I don't even love you like that anymore. I love you like a friend. We've both moved on. _Damn it. Well you don't love her so it's okay._

"Anyway" she continued, "I was wondering if I could stay here with you and Rachel for a while until…" She trailed off. I don't know if she knew what was going to happen. Would she find a new place? Would she and Joanne make up? Maybe- hopefully- she might stay here? But no. She said nothing. She just fell into my arms crying.

"Of course you can stay." I said. _How could I say no? I lov- no. No! No I don't!_

Maureen went back to get her things. I called Joanne to tell her Maureen was coming. I asked her to drop off Rachel. She told me Maureen could take her home.

Why is Joanne so stupid? To have Maureen want her, to have Maureen's love, it just didn't matter. Right now, I envy Joanne.

Twenty minutes later, Maureen opened the door. She was a wreck. This was the worst I'd ever seen her. Standing by her side was Rachel. Rachel had her mothers brown wavy hair and my deep blue eyes. She had a beautiful face, but different than Maureen's. I don't know where she got that face. She was petit- shortest in her grade. But most important, she was polite, gracious, and kind. I don't know where she gets that from. She always wore a smile. A teeth showing, warm, genuine smile. But right now, her mouth was closed and her eyes show fear.

I walked over to them. I wrapped my arms around Maureen and whispered in her ear, "its okay." But my eyes showed it wasn't. I got on my knees and said to Rachel. "You and your mommy will be living here for a while. Okay?" Maureen made me promise not to tell Rachel that she has aids. "What about Joanne?" Rachel asked. Maureen began to cry again. "Sorry" said Rachel. "It's okay. You didn't know" I said.

"Come on. Time for bed." I said. Then Rachel did something I had never seen her do. She gave me that pout look that Maureen has. I smiled. "Goodnight." I kissed her on her forehead and showed her to her room.

I put her under the covers and turned out the light. As I began to walk away, she said, "is mommy okay?" she asked. "Yeah Mommy's okay." I began to cry. "Then why was she crying?" Rachel asked. I love that kid to death but I need to teach her when to stop asking questions.

"Sometimes grown up's need to cry. To let their feelings out." I said. I tried to hide the fact that I too was crying. "Goodnight." I shut her door. I looked to see where Maureen was. She was on the couch, out like a light. Even in her sleep she was crying. I couldn't bear to see her like this. She was shivering. I couldn't bear to see her like this. I put a blanket over her.

I began to walk back to my room to turn in for the night. But I ran back to Maureen to make sure she was alright. I looked at her brown curls, her soft lips, and thought of her warm open heart.

_I love her._


	4. Chapter 4

Please review! I'm not getting many reviews and I might cut the story short if I don't get reviews.

That night I dreamt I was with Maureen. We were kissing the way we used to when we were going out. And out ran a cow- Elsie. I woke up with a huge smile on my face. I tried to wipe it off but I couldn't. it stuck there.

The phone began to ring. I heard, "Speak: Hey Mark, it's Maureen. Thanks for letting me spend the night. Oh, and Pookie, love you to bits and pieces, oh and Pookie, I went out to breakfast and couldn't pay. Please come over to the 5th street Diner, and please bring some cash. Oh, and Pookie, thanks."

Typical. Just classic Maureen. I pulled out five dollars. Then remembering that it was Maureen that just called, I brought an extra five. I barely had anymore money to my name. Broke- dirt broke. But I was rich- rich with love.

I went and paid for Maureen's eggs, toast, and coffee- which I think she made Irish. Then I brought her back to out apartment.

"Maureen, I'm glad you got a nutritious meal to make you strong, but I'm broke. I don't have the money to do that sort of thing again." I said. Maureen look surprised. "Okay." She said cheerfully. "Thank you for doing it this one time. You're a real friend." She leaned in and gave me a peck on the lips. And I don't now if I just loved her so much or that I had the rest of Maureen's Irish coffee, but I leaned in and kissed her. I was going to pull away, but I felt her kiss me back. We stayed like this for a while.

_Oh, shit! I love Rachel so fucking much, but I got to teach her when to go away._ "So Maureen, that is how you give mouth to mouth CPR." I lied. I didn't want Rachel to know what her mother and I were just doing. But she knew. She walked back into her bedroom.

"I'll talk to you later." Maureen said to me. She followed Rachel into her room.

There it was again. That smile that crept back on my face. It stayed there for ten minutes until finally Maureen came out. Then the smile got bigger. Maureen said she and I needed to talk. We went into my room.

"Mark, what is this?" She began. "Ever since we broke up, I've only loved you like a friend. But I guess you didn't feel the same way? I don't know I'm so confused. And if Joanne found out… and I can't choose between the two of you… and…"

I cut her off, but not with words. I kissed her once again. But this time she didn't kiss me back. She pulled away. "You see, this is what I mean, you kiss me the first chance you get, but with Joanne… Joanne understands me. Joanne… she's, she's not you. I need to go, I need to think." I hoped she chose me.

**POV- Maureen**

I ran out of Mark's apartment and went one flight down to Mimi's. I opened the door. Mimi was in there. She was in the bathroom, slapping her arm. "Stop!" I yelled. She just looked up at me.

"What's wrong?" Mimi asked. "Life" I said. "You and I aren't that much different. We both have aids, we're both in love, and right now, we both need that needle."

"Why do you need drugs?" Mimi asked me. "You have Rodger, Rodger has aids. I have Joanne. She doesn't. But I don't love Joanne." I said. "But you said you were in love, is there someone else?" Mimi asked surprised. I just shook my head up and down. "Who is it?" Mimi asked.

"Mark. I love Mark and he loves me. But it's complicated. With Joanne things are easy, but with Mark… give me the damn needle."

I reached for the needle but Mimi pulled it back. "Stop! This needle will make you want another needle and pretty soon… pretty soon you'll end up like me." Mimi said. "Is that so bad? Would it be so bad to end up like you? Just jive me the damn needle!" I yelled.

"Fine. But this is your first and last needle."

I slapped my arm and prepared. I stuck the needle in my arm. It hurt so badly. It felt so good. That needle made me think straight. That needle made me know what my decision was.

I went to Joanne's house. "What the hell is you're problem? You won't love me just because I have aids?" I yelled at Joanne. "That's not it!" Joanne yelled. "Then what is it?" I asked impatiently. "It's because I love you baby. I love you Maureen. And I'm scared for you." I began to cry. Suddenly- and I don't know why- I began to sing. "There's only us. Only tonight. We must let go, to know what right. No other path, no other way, no day but today." She wrapped her arms around me and pressed her lips against mine. We stayed like this for a while.

_I love Joanne. I love Mark. I couldn't do this to them. Now I know what Joanne was saying when she was talking about the "Tango Maureen" I can't love them both._

I pulled away from Joanne and told her I needed to go. I couldn't stay with her tonight after I kissed Mark. I couldn't stay with Mark tonight after I'd kissed Joanne.

I went to Mimi's. "Mind if I stay here tonight?"


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to GorgeousSmile for keeping faith in this fan fiction. Thank you to kp0282 for helping me to brainstorm. I am running out of ideas to keep this fan fiction story going, so unless you guys can send me more ideas, the chapter after this will be the last chapter of this story.

**POV- Maureen**

I couldn't sleep. I just kept thinking. _I love Joanne. But with Joanne, it's hard. I have to think so I don't say something wrong. If let out one little slip, she'll drop me like a hot potato. But with Mark, it's easy. I can just be myself and he'll love me for that anyway. It's just, I don't get that tingly feeling that I do when I'm with Joanne. I just don't love him. Joanne is "the one" for me. But… I think I need the needle again. No, No! That was my last one. But…_

I don't remember ever drifting off, but I guess I did because I found myself waking up to two faces- Rodger and Mimi. "Good morning Sleeping Beauty!" Rodger said. "What?" I wasn't asleep that long. "It's like two pm, what the hell happened to you?" Mimi asked. _Was I really asleep that long?_ The phone began to ring. Mimi picked it up. "Hello? Yeah, she's here. No, I don't think you should come over. Yeah, she's alright. Okay. Bye." I didn't need to hear who was on the other end. I knew it was Mark.

**POV- Mark**

I hung up the phone. _What was_ _wrong?_ _I thought Maureen would come back to me and we could have our happy ever after. What changed her mind?_ I didn't care what Mimi said. I needed to see her. I needed to know that she's okay.

I went down the fire escape. I was relieved to see Maureen was still there. I began to come through the window, but Mimi pushed me back out and began to talk to me on the balcony.

"What the hell are you doing?" Mimi asked. "I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. But I need to see her." I really didn't know. "You're too late" Mimi said. She went inside and closed the window. _What did she mean, "I was too late." Did Maureen find someone else?_

I looked inside the window. There was Mimi taking Maureen away from me. She was talking to her- probably about me. Rodger was folding a bunch of blankets. But the one thing that bothered me most. No one was smiling.

I went back to my apartment.

**POV- Maureen**

_Where would I stay tonight? I can't go to Joanne, not after what I did to her. I love her too much to put her through that agony. And same with Mark. And I can't stay with Mimi and Rodger, or Collins and Angel; they have other things to do. What do I do?_

**POV- Mark**

No one's seen Maureen. We've all been calling each other, looking everywhere, but no luck. _I'm really worried about her. I love her. _

Really short, I know. Review and tell me what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

I hated writing this chapter. But due to lack of reviews and the fact that I am going away, I felt it must be written. It's very short.

**POV- Mark**

I couldn't sleep. I stayed up all night worrying about Maureen. I'm scared for her. I went out to go and search for her. I went up and down 34th Street, all around the bohemian village, but no luck. Where could she be? I went back to my apartment.

The phone rang. I heard. "Speak! Hey Mark, it's me, Joanne. Please pick up. It's Maureen. Meet me in the park." _Why should I meet her? She was the "other woman". But it was for Maureen. Maybe Joanne knew where she was._

We met in the park.

"Thanks for coming." Joanne said. "I know what's been going on with you and Maureen. But, just last night, we shared a very passionate kiss." I couldn't believe her. "The tango Maureen." We sang together. We kept walking. I pulled out my camera. There were plenty of homeless people on the park benches. Then I saw someone. Slowly I lowered my camera. There was someone on the grass that looked all too familiar. It was Maureen. I ran over to her.

"Maureen! Maureen, come on wake up." Nothing. I shook her harder. "Maureen! Come on. Maureen!" Still nothing. "Oh, no." Joanne began to cry. I went home.

Rachel was in the doorway. "Is mommy alright?" She asked me. She was crying. I remembered I promised Maureen I would never Rachel. "Yes, Mommy's alright." I said. "Where is she?" She asked. I couldn't bear it. I began to cry. "Mommy just went on a little trip." I said. "When will she be back?" Rachel asked. She didn't understand. "Mommy's never coming back."

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